The Cork – a Corgi/Shark merdog plush

Ok, I’ll confess I misread the Cork as you-know-what. That’s why I clicked on the Kickstarter project. I was surprised by their boldness to name a toy that. A second later, I realized the joke was on me. 

Then, I got worried. What if someone bought this plush for a British friend? A friend who doesn’t fancy pronouncing the “R” sound. I even wondered, instead of basing the name on corgi + shark, why not try shark + corgi instead? Once again, a second later, I realised Shagi is probably the worse of the two.

What is it?

The Cork is an adorable abomination combination of a corgi and a shark. It has a corgi’s head, iconic large ears, front paws and colours. And it has a shark’s fins, tail, and gills. A Cork plush for lonely people in the world. 

This just happens to be all of us given the pandemic, especially those who’ve had enough living their loved ones during the past year.

Who is the Cork for?

Kids aged three and older, especially those in their mid 20s or 30s lacking love and looking for fake company.

In all honesty, this is a cute toy. As in, OMG IT’S SO FLUFFLY! But if I bought a Cork for my 3-year-old and she asked me, “Mom, what is a Cork?”

What should I say?

“It’s the baby of a corgi and a shark, but it’s not a baby shark?” (Doo doo, doo doo doo doo. Sorry, my kid brainwashed me.)

(Anyone likes this song like I do?)

Should I explain to her that imagination works in a weird way, or should I make up a love story between a corgi and a shark? What if she keeps asking about love between different species? Should I let her know it’s NOT ok to marry a baboon, or make something up? My condolences for those of you who married a baboon. 🙏

Is it innovative?

Hmm, I would say yes. Points for imagination. How did she come up with this idea? Will her next product be a combination of a tiger and carrot? I suggest the name Tarot. It might be able to tell your fortune. 

The creator should audition for Pokémon or Digimon and the likes. I think the Cork can fit into either universe pretty easily, though I doubt they would accept the name. Then again, the creator Meg has her own range called Mashables that seem to have walked out of these universes.

Is this plush worth it?

People can buy whatever they want, but I don’t think it is something worthwhile. Corgi plushes are going for half the price on Amazon. I don’t see how adding a shark tail would double the price. I mean, it‘s not shark fin, not that we should even think of paying for shark fin.

I’m also not sure what I can do with the adoption certificate. I get that the proceeds support an artist doing what she loves, but wouldn’t Patreon be a good way?

Any alternatives?

It depends on what you are looking for. If you are an adult looking for something to cuddle with at night, during the day, or even at work, there are tons of alternatives online at a cheaper price. After all, the world is full of lonely adults with money to spend, but no one to spend them on. 

But if your 3-year-old laid eyes on the Cork and must have it, you might have to pay for the seed you sowed 3 years ago, or suffer your kid’s wailing. (I suggest letting the kid cry. It’s an important life lesson: you don’t always get what you want.)

In conclusion, it’s a cute little thing, but not one I’d pay for. I leave you with four suggestions: 

• Be happy.
• Don’t be fooled by anything. 
• Trust your judgement. 
• Pronounce the “R” in Cork.

Hi, I’m Rainee.

I’m a reindeer that identifies as a bear. I’m the Critical Bear that does standup comedy.